Mommies need breaks too

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You’ve been sitting at your desk looking at your computer and working hard for a few hours. You decide it’s time to get up and move around to give your eyes a rest…you need a change of scenery.

You’ve been on your feet checking on patients and haven’t had a chance to get to the nurses station or break room just to breath…you need a change of scenery.

You’ve been on the set doing take after take trying to get the scene just right. It’s hard to step away because as soon you do, someone’s calling you back to film again…you need a change of scenery.

Being a mom is a JOB! It’s a 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year JOB. Breaks come around like holidays, maybe you get a good one once a month. Dads and other people who aren’t moms look at us like we’re crazy if we say we need a break. “Break”, they say, “But you’re a mom, don’t you love your children?” Huh? Since when did moms needing a break equate to not loving your children. It’s because I love them that I need a break so that I can be my best for them and not yell at them all day because I’m frustrated. Now, no one has said these exact words to me, but that’s how my ears hear it and my brain processes it.

For stay at home moms we really feel this need for a break because we don’t have the opportunity to go to work and talk to adults. The only break I get is when my kids go to school. Now let me be clear, I’m not trying to put a wedge between working moms and stay at home moms. The way I see it, if you’re a mom worth your weight in gold, we have the same struggles and all need a break none the less.

So what does a break look like for you? I’m pretty simple. While I long for the week long vacation on the beach or a sightseeing trip through Italy, I would be pleased with a trip to the grocery store by myself. Until you have to take your kids with you everywhere you go, you don’t appreciate what I’m saying. You may laugh, but those few extra minutes and extra energy it takes to unbuckle kids out of the car seat, put their coats on if it’s cold, then hold them in place so they don’t run into parking lot traffic, it takes a toll over time. When I can go to the store and just get out of the car…by myself…I’m so happy. It’s the little things guys and gals.

Whether you’re a single mom with little help, a married mom with no help, or a mom with a village of family and friends, we ALL need a break. Most people would think going to use the bathroom, be it the toilet or the shower, is a break. But let me tell you my friends…it’s not. My little rugrats follow me all over the house, even to the bathroom. They don’t care that your pants are down or if it stinks in there. They are with mommy so they are happy, y’all. I’ve had to start speed walking through my house to try to shake them, then I juke and hit the corner to my bedroom and sprint to the bathroom. I lock the door then take a rest. Now if they find you, they’re going to knock or shall I say beat on the door. They will scream “Mommy” with a blood curdling shrill. You may feel bad that they’re hurt that you left them, but I encourage you to stay strong. Keep that door shut and locked until you’re ready to come out. Either they will start playing in your hair products and makeup under the sink or they’ll go back to their play area. They WILL be ok, I promise.

Now I don’t want to forget about our dads out there. We love you guys too. But let’s be honest, men have a one track mind and the patience of a child. Y’all get more breaks than a little bit. From my experience, you feel our pain when you have to take of the kids by yourself for an extended period of time. Then you understand why we need breaks because after an hour with the kids you’re ready to call for backup. But thank you for trying.

I just went on and on about moms needing breaks, and I definitely mean that. But I must confess…….I have a hard time asking for help to get my own breaks. (Insert crying emoji). I’m one of those people that likes to take care of things myself. First of all, I don’t like be inconvenienced so I try not to inconvenience other people. I know how hard it is to handle my 3, so I don’t like to put them on other people. Second of all, by the time I give instructions on how to take care of all 3, specifically Taj, I’m tired and need a break from the mini crash course. But this is something that I’m actively working on. My husband and I have a couple’s New Years Resolution…to date more and spend quality time together without the kids. So don’t be surprised if you’re next in line to babysit. Oh come on, it’ll be fun!

I do have my a girls trips about once a year, one with my cousins in my husband’s family and another with my Atl homegirls from way back. I get so much anxiety leading up to my departure when I have to be away from my kids…until I pull off from the house and head to the airport. Then I forget I even have kids…until I realize I’m not carrying my everyday diaper backpack stocked with diapers, clothes, snacks, hand sanitizer, yeah the usual. But I do thoroughly enjoy myself while away. No worrying about feeding anyone but me, no putting anyone to sleep, no constant hand holding for safety, I mean, it’s the life, right?

Breaks come in all shapes, sizes, lengths, and vary in activity. Even if you have your hands full with your own kids, help another sister out by giving her a break.  I’d love to hear how some of you mommas spend your breaks. Do you like periodic getaways with the hubs or your girls or will a trip to mall without your little ones suffice? There’s no wrong answer, just a right amount of mommy time.

Sending love and hope your way!

8 thoughts on “Mommies need breaks too”

  1. Cousin, I enjoy sitting in my car alone before entering in the chaotic world of a mom!! I commend you mother of 3!!! 💛

    1. Yeeesss cousin! The car is a great place to get away. Take a nap, read a book, whatever calms you down, lol. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Like you said any break weather it’s 5 min or whatever is always good.

    My break time comes with hanging out with co-workers once a month, mini getaway or staycation with hubby, and simple break away to grocery store or my favorite retail outlet

    1. Sounds good, cousin! Vacations are always nice but any time you can be without your kids is a good break to me. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Yes!!! You got this right, my darling niece 😘 Any break, lol. I have six children and my oldest is a daughter which is 31 she’s been away for a long time, however my son’s range from the age of 27 and 16 I only have three left at home so I have been the only woman in the house for a very long time. My break is just getting my nails done. I mean.. I watch games, go to games amd talk about the games just like I’m one of the guys, lol.

    1. Oh wow, Titi! Kudos to you! I’m running ragged with 3 so I can only imagine 6 is a lot to handle. But you’ve done well 😊👍🏽 Thank you for sharing!

  4. I see myself all in this story lol. I like to go on date night with my husband and any other get away we can manage without the kids. But when I’m depressed and need an ASAP escape I’ll go to the store and walk down every single aisle. If the day has been really crazy, I’ll walk down every aisle twice. Getting away and being able to breathe and not be called on for everything is awesome. I thank God for all the ways of escape. Thanks cuz for sharing. I’m loving your blog.

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